Just rambling…

I woke up this morning thinking about the dumb things I did when I was younger and where I would possibly be had I not done them. I didn’t sit in it too long, but it does make you wonder. I use to do things just to do them, with no fear of consequences. I didn’t have a relationship with God at that time like I do now… but a lot of what was done was so foolish. My biggest regret was when I FINALLY stopped smoking weed and I was able to get a job without trying to figure out how I’m going to pass my piss test. That was a very good feeling by the way… I passed without doing the million and one things they say that will help you pass the test. Anyway, I began working at a decent place of employment only to get fired and arrested. Smh. Looking backit was so dumb. I lost a good job, AND I gained a criminal record that followed me for YEARS! I could NOT find a decent job at all. No matter if it was a misdemeanor or not, it was a charge that followed me around everywhere I went. No sense in having a degree at this point. 

I wish I wouldn’t have met him… I wish I would have had a good student advisor at college that would have taught me the importance of doing an intern. I wish I would have taken school more serious and not been so rebellious. I wish I wouldn’t have lost my virginity at such a young age and been so promiscuous when I got to college. I wish, I wish, I wish. I tell myself, “well all of that has made me the woman I am today…” but am I a better woman? Even with a past like mine… am I? Is it possible to be? Or am I who I was and will I always be “her?!”

Scripture says, Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new! 2 Corinthians 5:17

I’m in Christ and I am made new. Anyone that is in Christ will see the new… not only in me, but on me. I am not my past. I am not my mistakes and it will get better! It’s time to walk in who I am called to be. Walk in who God wants me to be and who God says that I am! The old has passed away, all things are now new!! 

“Jeshua’s clothing was filthy as he stood there before the angel. So the angel said to the others standing there, “Take off his filthy clothes.” And turning to Jeshua he said, “See, I have taken away your sins, and now I am giving you these fine new clothes.” Zechariah 3:3-4